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February 24, 2016

People never cease to disappoint. I’m directing a play at the moment, have been for over a month – it opens in May. The cast are talented, driven and really nice, we’ve been getting on well, socialising, having a laugh. They’ve been getting a feel for me, and I for them, we’re all engaged in the strange dance of new acquaintance. Or rather they are with me, and I with them, they all know each other pretty well. So, things have been going well, the rehearsals good, I’m being accepted, respected and appreciated in what can be a challenging and difficult role.

So, they see me as their director, the fact I’m blind is slowly being forgotten. I thought real progress was being made. That was until last night during a lift home. I commented that I’d been pretty ill, and at one point had to virtually crawl on hands and knees to the backdoor in order to let Oliver out. Someone responded with, “Don’t you have a panic alarm or intercom system?” my heart sank. After all the progress, all the work, after everything, I’m still seen as disabled and vulnerable. It’s quite mental, I train hard, I have a good physique, I can take care of myself, I can look after myself, but still, the reality hits – people still don’t get it.

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