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April 28, 2015

If I were to form my own political party, “The Beej alliance” its manifesto would look a little like this…


Lots of people moan and groan about tuition fees, citing injustice and inequality. The truth is degrees are pretty worthless, devalued by the sheer number of courses, the course requirements and the calibre of student wanting to go on to higher education. So I suggest a tiered system. The better the A-level grades, (or equivalent) the smaller the fee. This would not only encourage bright people to go to good universities, but it would encourage the less bright amongst them to study harder, If the difference between an A and a B grade is a few grand, surely it is worth it. Very soon, students with average grades, average IQs wishing to do pointless courses like David Beckham studies would be priced out of the market. Those who get four grade As would have little or nothing to pay. Of course, the A levels themselves would have to be made more difficult – no more “I’ll try a third draft of my course work miss…” it will be a proper course.

That brings me on to education in general. PE would be compulsory, as would ethics, logic and philosophy. Education isn’t just about testing students’ short term memory, it should be about training them to think, to create, to be a fully working, fully functioning member of society. No more lazy teaching, “Go to page 32 and do the comprehension.” Teachers would have good training – their subject knowledge must be as sound as their ability to communicate. Teachers would have to meet a minimum age requirement too, we don’t want 21 year-olds teaching 18 year olds. Neither do we want under qualified 50-somethings. Teachers would have to be at least 25 and have a degree and at least a PGCE.

Laptops and tablets would be scrapped. Students would have to use actual books in actual libraries. They would have to produce (at least once a week)a piece of work written in long hand without the aid of a spell checker. Allied to this, the school day would change. Children are frankly shit after lunch, so the school day would look like this:

6am breakfast
6:30am Assembly
7am to 12pm lessons
12pm lunch
13pm sport

A shorter, more productive school day would boost morale, moral fibre, character and improve concentration in general.

For those intelligent enough to work out that a trade is worth more than a Phd in the real world, those individuals who show aptitude with their minds, with real practical skill will not be shunned, belittled or mocked, they would be paid a wage whilst engaging upon their apprenticeship. No more mammoth, soulless academies, smaller, friendlier schools (preferably boarding) where the teachers know the names of all the students. Environments where students can thrive and develop rather than simply disappear, become a robot or suffer.

The exam syllabus would change and everyone would be literate by the time they get to year 7. We do this by letting the me kids up to year 6. As a country we teach children to read before any other society, thus pressurising and stretching before the brain is developed enough. Children would be allowed to be children.

Year 7: Phase 1 exam, reading, writing, talking, mental maths.
Year 10: Phase 2 exams, as above, plus “thinking” “logic” “PE” “Self expression” and “creative writing”
Year 13: phase 3 exams, As above, plus elective element or trade.


Firstly the private land lords (In the Norman sense) have had it too long. Their tenants, feudal, down-trodden, need help. There must be a fair rent policy in place to protect individuals. Allied to this, communes would be set-up in areas of natural beauty. These communities would have to adear to very strict “green “guidelines but they would give whole families a chance to exist cheaply and cheerfully in yurts and cabins.

There are so many empty buildings around the country. Local counsels would have first option for development before private developers. The land and planning permission would be cheaper and easier to obtain for those who wish to build affordable or social housing.

We all agree that this society is broken and fat. In general people would be happier if they had a hobby and a sport. Not only would they be fitter but they would be mentally more agile and happier, thus cutting down on the NHS’ mental health bill. Everyone over the age of 18 would have to pick TWO activities from the approved list below. If the individual is disabled, instead of the activity being cheap, it would be free. The majority of disabled people suffer from symptoms akin to depression. Exercise and mental wellness could help them feel better.

Flower ranging
Creative writing
Football (unfortunately)
Battle re-enactment


This is of course a controversial subject. Surely the most logical way forward would be to implement an Australian style points system to all immigrants, not just those outside the EU. Immigrants have forged this country, so we need them, we need skilled people to prop-up our lazy Anglo-Saxon countrymen. But we need people who can provide us with skills and services we really need, not just because it’s cheap. It needs to be fair for everyone. A fair living wage, fair living conditions with an open and transparent society for everybody.

Should they have benefits? Of course, after they have paid taxes. Everyone has bad luck, illness, sickness, but our country cannot be charitable to everyone who ends up on her shores.


Special schools should be made available when necessary. Integration is not always desirable or preferable. Each case should be taken on its merits and the best education, not the easiest education should be made available.

Half price rail fares for those who are visually impaired or unable to drive because of another disability. Free tube transport to those who live or work in a major city. The scrapping of DLA (disability living allowance( in favour of free taxi rides, Iphones, laptops, home cinema/hi-fi systems and musical instruments (to be upgraded annually.)

According to my research the above is what people spend their DLA on. So the government can save lots of money by simply providing the individuals with their requirements annually, rather than paying them weekly or fortnightly.

If a blind or severely disabled person is lucky enough to gain full time employment, they should be awarded double the holidays as everyone else and a third more pay to compensate them for the stress and pressure of everyday life. Employers who are seen as discriminating will be heavily fined, repeat offenders will be taxed, draconianly (probably not a word)


Historically, Britain has the best, the most amazing infantry in the world. We should let the Americans show off their big shiny hardware, we will concentrate on men and ships – our areas of brilliance. Instead of shrinking the army we should grow it. In the age of unconventional warfare our fancy vehicles are largely redundant.

Bring back national service for minor convictions, save prison-space and develop and train those men to be soldiers first, non-repeat offenders second. We have a long history of turning villains, cutthroats, highwaymen, robbers, thieves, murderers and rapists into warriors and sailors. I reiterate, minor convictions only – theft, mild assault, drunken disorder etc.

This policy would allow prisons to develop proper and coherent programmes for their inmates. Punishment and education, reintegration and understanding of the crime would be the motivation.

If extremists of any religion are caught, prison is the last place they should go. There should be a national centre of “re-education, integration and normalisation.” A team of psychologists, doctors, druids and pagans would spend six months in beautiful, peaceful surroundings attempting to “reset” the offender’s thought processes. In essence, the reversal of brain wash. Call it a “mind and soul cleanse.”

Laws and bans

Talent shows will be banned.
Extending dog leads will be banned.
Football shirts will be banned.
The wearing of white trainers (unless training)will be banned.
A jail sentence for littering, the streets can be disgusting.
TV, internet and smart phones should only be given to children over the age of 12.
Visiting a museum annually should be compulsory.
Cigarettes should be banned.
The dog licence should be reintroduced

Every boy should have a grant to get, or be given the following:

Rugby ball
Cricket bat
Wooden sword
Star Wars figures

Every girl should be given the above, plus free sanitary products and pony.

Finally, The Beej alliance party would encourage riding horses or walking, instead of driving short distances. This would improve the environment and local surroundings.



From → Culture, Politics, Society

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